Here is the full list of all 10 The Stanley Parable achievements. It takes around 25-30 hours to unlock all of the achievements on Windows.
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No seriously, we disabled it.
Complete The Stanley Parable.
Quit the game and then start it again.
This is an achievement.
Click on door 430 five times.
Play The Stanley Parable for the entire duration of a Tuesday.
Complete The Stanley Parable in under 4 minutes 22 seconds (not including load times)
Don't play The Stanley Parable for five years.
It is impossible to get this achievement.