Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 30-35 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Finished all seven days.
Survived Friday.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Survived Thursday.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Survived Wednesday.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Made a very long killing spree.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Wore all three outfits.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Survived Saturday.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Survived Tuesday.
Totaled 30 cars.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Survived Monday.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Sucked down your own piss.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Gained your first dog helper.
Kicked open a door.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Read the newspaper every day.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Reunited with an old flame.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Reunited with an old friend.
Rescued your loyal companion.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.