Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 30-35 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Wore all three outfits.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Finished all seven days.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Survived Saturday.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Survived Friday.
Read the newspaper every day.
Survived Thursday.
Survived Wednesday.
Survived Tuesday.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Made a very long killing spree.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Totaled 30 cars.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Gained your first dog helper.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Survived Monday.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Kicked open a door.
Sucked down your own piss.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Kicked 30 people in the balls.
Reunited with an old friend.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Reunited with an old flame.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Rescued your loyal companion.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.