Full list of all 89 POSTAL 2 achievements. It takes around 30-35 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game on Windows.
The base game contains 69 achievements, and there is 1 DLC pack containing 20 achievements.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Wore all three outfits.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Made a very long killing spree.
Sucked down your own piss.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Finished all seven days.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Survived Saturday.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Survived Friday.
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Survived Thursday.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Survived Wednesday.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Survived Tuesday.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Survived Monday.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Kicked open a door.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Gained your first dog helper.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Totaled 30 cars.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Read the newspaper every day.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Reunited with an old friend.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Reunited with an old flame.
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Rescued your loyal companion.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.